Dreams of Flight
by neekabe
Summary: A TrowaMidii fic...finally Both of them are reflecting on the person they once knew and the people they are now, wondering if they could ever love again or if they ever really loved before....(repost. first version was eaten by ff.net)


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or the song used in this story

I heard this song and just had to write a Trowa/Midii fic…and they didn't end up dying! Good for me because Morganeth would kill me if they did =P

Anyways of people like this there might be a sequel…I have some ideas but I'm not sure yet ^_^

Oh yeah…the paragraphs switch between first persons' for both Trowa and Midii….It's usually fairly obvious who's talking but if you can't tell then I probably couldn't either ^_^

You can read those parts as if it's really both of them thinking roughly the same thing...*grins* or you can just choose who you like ^_^

Let me know what you think!

e-mail: neekabe@canoemail.com

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**Dreams of Flight**

I had a dream that I could fly 

_I can feel each moment as time goes by_

_We'd never be to far away _

_You would always be there I heard you say_

I don't remember much about my childhood, what little I had, but I do remember my fascination with birds, with flight. It seemed at the time to be the most amazing thing, to be totally free of all bonds and restrictions. Then I would be able to be me and me alone. Not a spy, not an informant, not a thief, not what everyone else wants me to be. 

That was what I most admired about him, and what I still do admire. He had nothing to tie him to anything. No name, no history, no loyalties. Just himself. He had the total freedom I always dreamed of. 

Then he disappeared.

I used to pretend that he would watch over me like the Handsome Prince of fairy tales. I knew you never would. You had your job I had mine. We were on different sides of that hellish war. Could it have been different? We were only 10, but even then we weren't children. We had been used for too much to have that innocence.

I sigh as I fall back onto my bed, trying to get comfortable in this oppressive heat.

I can still dream can't I?

_I never thought_

_Thought that it would be out last good bye._

_I still can dream_

_That one-day love will fall out from the sky_

It's been long since the war ended. A long time since I last saw her. Would she still remember me? That nameless boy from her childhood? Do I dare even dream that? We weren't old and people change. But part of me still hopes that if I ran into her, she would still know me. There is no reason why she would, I just left her. She betrayed us. We were soldiers on opposite sides.

I shrug and stare up at the sky. She loved the thought of flight. A smile touched my lips for an instant. Midii...the things I could show her now…Do you still remember?

_Do you still remember all the time that has gone by?_

_Do you still believe that love can fall out from the sky?_

_Of from where you're standing you can see the sky above_

_I'll be waiting for you if you still believe in love_

I wish I could bring back that feeling of childhood. When we were young and less jaded. When we still dreamed of loving parents and happily-ever-after. Could I trust anyone now with my heart and soul? Knowing what power it gave them over me?

He could so easily hurt me then, they would be something to use against me, like my family….I don't want to be hurt again….

She would tie me down, connect me to a place, be a weakness…. I don't like being trapped….

_Find a way to bring back yesterday_

_Find a way to love._

_I hope we stay when tomorrow becomes today_

_Love will find a way_

In a perfect world, I'd be with her now. ..but I know this place is far from perfect. We just fit so well together. My silences didn't bother her and she gave me a person to be, an identity. Maybe that was all just a part of her act. A way to get the foolish boy to trust her. But she was something to anchor to….I…I loved her.

_I'll be waiting for you in my heart you are the one_

_If I cannot find you I will look up to the sun_

_If from where you_

_If standing you can see the stars above_

_I'll be waiting for you, if you still believe in love._

I hope that someday things will work out; that we haven't lost all hope yet. He could hurt me…but he might love me. I think I just might be able to take that chance. I smile. Love. What a fantastical notion. He was just a childhood crush. I loved what he embodied not him. After all what does a 10 year old know of love? I didn't even know him…right? I couldn't love him still. But then why does he still haunt my dreams? It's been 8 years since we parted as children, 2 since the wars finally ended and he disappeared from my sight again. Again he just vanished. Not exactly dependable, right? Then why do I keep wondering if maybe he's staring at this very same sky?

_Do you believe?_

_Do you believe?_

The thought remains as the night slowly turns to day. Could I still love? Is that another one of those things that I lost during the war? Is there such a thing as love? The soldier in me can't believe that people that so willing to kill are capable of devoting their whole life to one person, and recent divorce statistics agree with that. There is no such thing as love. No one could ever think of finding a person they trust and who means more than life itself. And there's another thing; how could I trust her? She has betrayed me before. She was a spy and she still might be. Perhaps they have found another way to manipulate her. There are things too important to risk on the chance that she might not be telling the truth. I could never be sure. 

But she did save me. She told me, in the end, everything that was going on. That was more then I did. Maybe…

_Do you still remember all the time that has gone by?_

_Do you still believe that love can fall out from the sky?_

_Of from where you're standing you can see the sky above_

_I'll be waiting for you if you still believe in love_

A self-mocking smile touches my lips. It's all just a silly childhood fantasy. So much time has passed with us so far apart. I don't even know if he's still alive. But then again, it could hurt to try. I don't have to hide and lie anymore. Now the war is over and I am free. It is the time to forget the past to create a future. I might be ready to try, if we do meet by some chance. I smile. Who knows?

'Always follow your emotions.' The words won't leave my head. I think I might just have to keep an eye out for her. Maybe she'll remember me. Who knows?

Do you? Do you believe? 

I think I could learn to love again.

***end***


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